Bud-ding Maturity

I had a moment, tonight.

Before I get into it. Please, bear with me and let me give you a rundown of my day.

It was nothing special. I woke up, got into work a little early (9:01, as opposed to my usual 9:06 or 9:07, thank you very much!!). I half-heartedly did my work, stopped at Best Buy to pick up a little Tom Waits, went over to my mom's for dinner (shut up, haters!), watched a little TV ("Lost"...good as ever!) and came home to my lonely apartment. A decent day. Like I said, nothing special.

And then...disaster struck.

I lost the ear buds that came with my iPod. You know, those little white ones that no one really uses but still come with the package, just because those crazy knuckleheads at Apple say to each other: "Well, ya never know...he might need them, one day." Actually, it makes me feel better that I have those guardian angels looking out for me. It's like the techno freak's equivalent to a mom writing her child's name on the elastic waistband of their tighty-whities for swimming day at elementary school. That is, it's nice...but completely unnecessary

So, getting back to the point...

I have, apparently, lost my iPod ear buds. To anyone else, no big deal, right? Well, not for me!! I knew where I put them and I was just pissed as hell that they were not where I knew they were supposed to be: In my room, right next to my laptop. I know, I know...I shouldn't get so angry and frustrated by something I have so little control over, but I couldn't suppress the one thought that kept repeating over and over again in that brain of mine: JESUS BLOODY CHRIST!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY AND WHY THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?! My night was ruined.

That is, until the unthinkable occurred.

After having looked everywhere possible for them, I stood in the middle of my kitchen, running my hands through my hair like I always do when I'm frustrated and at a loss. I was just livid, ready to spit (into the conveniently-placed trash can, of course!!) and, out of absolutely, positively nowhere, I could feel something rise up inside of me. Was it outrage? Acid reflux? What?!

It came as the Shocker of the Millennium when I started convulsing with laughter. I don't know how it happened. I just broke out laughing. I think that after all of the pain and frustration of this last month, my brain finally just said to me: You know what? It's okay. You can let this one go. Relax, breathe and, yes, laugh at the sheer spectacle you've made out of this teeny-tiny little setback, if you must call it that.

Like I said, it was just a brief moment...but it was mine. I know it may mean very little to all of you reading this, but shit...these days? I take what I can get. Moments like that are so hard to come by. I mean, it's so easy to let oneself be enveloped by their own negativity and--let's face it--Drama. Much harder is being able to stop and look inside oneself and ask, In the grand scheme of things, is this really what's important to me? Is this truly what matters?

I know, not exactly the deepest lesson learned. In fact, I'm sure you can turn on any late-night cable channel and hear all kinds of self-help gurus saying the same exact thing that I just said in the paragraph above. The lesson that that I learned tonight, in of itself, is not the point of this particular blog entry. The fact that I learned it on my own, in that lovely moment of mine, most certainly is. The moment also proved to me that there's still hope for me yet.

Still, it would be nice to, um, have those ear buds back.

Little help...?