Welcome to My World...

Hello, Ladies and Germs!!!

I guess the best thing to do would be for me to introduce myself. My name's Hal (I also go by H-Def, Haldawg, Halibut or any other number of nicknames...none of which include Late For Dinner). Here's the deal: I'm a writer. It's what I do and it's really my only discernible talent (seriously! don't get me anywhere near a car...or near a mayonnaise jar, for that matter). But mainly I'm an entertainment writer. I was the Entertainment Editor, weekly columnist (Hal Definition ROCKED!!!) and movie, TV and music critic for The Omaha Pulp, an alternative weekly news rag that went under (not my fault! Pinkie swear with a kiss!!). I'm only letting you know this so YOU know that I know what I'm doing. But not really.

Good. That's out of the way. Now, let me take this time to give a shout-out to everyone; those familiar with me and my style, as well as to those newbies, out there, who will no doubt poop their pants (or panties) when they read my shit and cry foul. For those writing purists, let me make this clear: A lot of the time, I write the way I talk...very Stream of Consciousness. So, now that THAT'S out there, if you want to bitch and moan about the way I write or my style, take a looksee at the little box with the "X" in the upper right hand side of your PC screen and click on it.

Whew! I'm likin' this ALREADY!!!

Annnnnnyway, I've wanted to do the whole Blog Thing (I dunno...is that supposed to be capped? Eh! Whatever!) for a while, now, but for two major reasons, I have yet, until now, to jump on in. Reason one is because I've been so disillusioned about my paper closing down, I just really haven't felt the need to write anything. Think of it as the Depressed Man's version of writer's block. Reason number two is just that I've been so intimidated by the whole blogging enterprise. So many people, so many blogs...so little time. I mean, what the hell do I have to offer, right? I'm that Jewish, OCD, hypochondriac guy that falls backwards, onto his ass, whenever people cough in his general vicinity (thank god, I don't get nose bleeds!!).

Why would people want to read this?!

Well, how should I put this gently? This blog is for me. Not you. Me. Don't get me wrong, I want you to read what I have to say/write and I DO want your feedback. I do. Make no bones about THAT!! But that's mainly because I'm my own worst critic and I love it when people talk shit, especially when it's about Yours Truly. Hehehe!!

So, maybe now you're wondering how I got past my Blogaphobia and decided to go to town with my rantings and ravings? Good question! Allow me to answer!!

A couple of nights ago, I was in a really bad way. Really bad. I had a whole bunch of, well, personal shit, going through my head and I just didn't know how to say it out loud. I was going batty, bonkers, and a few other words starting with B. So, I hopped downstairs to my parents' computer (no, I'm NOT one of those middle-aged, sweaty-palmed, balding, overweight, ax wielding freak shows who happen to still live at their folks'. I just happened to be there, alright?! Besides, I'm gonna be 26 in 24 days!!) and started writing down what was in that ol' noggin of mine and guess what! I fuckin' felt so much better!! Imagine that, right?!

So, here I am.

While many of my friends and peers might argue with me, tooth and nail on this, I've always been a better writer than a talker. Ask any of them and they'll tell you that that cat LOVES to do some T-A-L-K-I-N!! But really, writing has always been what I'm good at. So, this is gonna be my blog (yes, you can feel free to say, "well, duh!!") Every night (or whenever I can get to it!!), I'm gonna go Doogie Howser on your asses and write what I'm feeling about anything and everything that comes to mind, whether it be about movies, music or just my weird, out there, SINGLE (just putting it out there for the ladies) life...in my own warped and shattered style. Yeah, I know, it's a glorified diary, journal...whatever you wanna call it. But it's mine.

Besides, it'll probably have lots of curse words, if that's the kind of thing that strikes your fancy. You know who you are.


So, with that, welcome to Neurotica.