Cinematic Wrist-Cutting...And How to Stop It!!

Last year, Ryan Fleck's little indie film, "Half Nelson," about a junky school teacher (starring my pick for last year's best male performance, Ryan Gosling) was ranked as number two on my year-end list of Top 10 movies. The movie that beat it for the number-one spot was....wait for it!..."Little Miss Sunshine." Now, which one is the stronger movie is debatable and, admittedly, I grappled with the choice. They're both amazing movies in their own right: All-around stellar performances, sharp, beautifully-written screenplays and sure-handed direction from first-time filmmakers. So, ultimately, what made "Sunshine" take the top spot?

Well, that's easy: In the end, with its positive--albeit twisted--message about family values and hearty laughs, "Sunshine" didn't make me want to slit my wrists the way that "Half Nelson" did!!!

No, I'm not suicidal and no, this blog of mine is not a means for me to write a dark and, yeah, probably long-winded suicide note. On the contrary, I'm just saying that lately, I have trouble watching depressing films that make me want to take a flying leap off our First National Bank skyscraper. It's like, "yeah, just what I want to watch!! Yet another movie that tells me just how shitty the world is and that we're all bad, bad people in need of souls!!!"

I think this trend of mine to only watch happy or upbeat movies started last year when I watched "Magnolia" for the gaziillionth time with my friend, Matteo. Don't get me wrong, Paul Thomas Anderson's brilliant, epic film about the intersecting lives of troubled souls in the San Fernando valley is certanly right up there in the pantheon of my favorite movies.

But let's face it: it's depressing shit.

And there was a time when that would'e been fine, no problem, because I used to love watching depressing movies, but as I've gotten older and lonliness and the kind of jaded disillusionment that seeps in with people my age or older ("I'm never going to find anyone;" "If only I had taken that job;" "My life would have been so much better if...;" "WE CAN'T AFFORD A PUPPY, TIMMY!!") starts to take hold, I've started to realize that yeah, I'll gladly take watching Toni Collette find that nice Jewish boy in "In Her Shoes" over watching the latest Holocaust movie. I'll RUN to the theatre or TV screen to watch the Zach Braffs and John Cusacks of cinema fall in love with the Natalie Portmans and Diane Lanes! Hell, I'll even watch Ashton Kutcher romance Amanda Peet in "A Lot Like Love!"

In fact, to this day, "Forrest Gump" is STILL the movie that I'll pick over "Pulp Fiction." Why, you ask? Well, when I watch a movie, I rather smile and stare saucer-eyed than grimace and cover my eyes.

Now, the movies I previously mentioned may not be High Art for some (Save "Pulp Fiction"), they may not be about Real Life and I'll probably lose a lot of Film Geek cred, but being entertained, these days (for me, anyway), should involve watching something that doesn't so closely resemble the drudgeries of this hard, bleak world we live in.

Re-watching "Half Nelson" again on DVD, last week, made me finally realize something: When it comes to watching movies, I want my glass to remain half full.