Aren't You That Guy...?

I'm tired of being The Movie Guy. It's gotten so...old.

Don't get me wrong, I love knowing that I have more useless movie knowledge than anyone around, but really...I'm tired of being known as that guy. I was looking at my list of DVDs this afternoon, people, and I flipped out when I saw that I have roughly 575 DVDs (including box sets in their entirety...not just the individual discs within). I mean, yeah, I knew I had a lot--A LOT!!--but that's just nuts!!

But this realization didn't just happen overnight. As I have with so many other blog entries, allow me to go all Lost on you and take you back in time a bit.

I can recall times where I'd be looking at my DVD Web sites and see a title that, up until that point, I had absolutely no desire or interest in seeing. It could be a movie I'd never even heard of. Then something would just click--or snap, depending on how you look at it--in my brain. I would have to go buy it. It would become an obsession (remember, I am diagnosed with OCD), making me go from store to store, trying to find it (you know you want it. You know you need it. Buy it! Buy it! BUY IT!!!!) One frantic, damn-near-desperate search later and fifteen to forty-five dollars poorer, I would have the DVD(s) in my hot little hands. As soon as I would get home, I'd put it away and make a note to watch it at a later time. This sweat-inducing, impulse shopping frenzy went on for nearly three years until I received the financial assistance from my parents.

I figured that since I'd been given a second chance, money-wise, I probably shouldn't fuck it up. To this day, there are probably at least 100 movies that I've yet to watch. That, or I've watched many of them with no future plans to view them a second time. So many DVDs bought, so much dust gathered.

No wonder my allergies are such a bitch!

These days, I look at my massive collection and I'm overwhelmed with this feeling of self-loathing. I mean, yeah, I won't lie to you, it's an impressive collection, but those suckers are a manifestation of my OCD at its worst. I look at it and I think to myself, what was I thinking?! How much money would I have right now?! I know it's silly to question past decisions, but I go over it again and again in my head: Why was it so bloody important that you had to buy all of those?!

As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, I saw "Children of Men" and really liked it a lot. The next day, I could hear that voice in my head saying, you should really head to Best Buy and pick it up!! And I'll be honest, I almost did. Almost. It was my half-hour break, I had my cars keys on me and was ready to peel out of the Marriott parking lot. Then I just...stopped. For once, I blocked out that little voice and I thought to myself, let's face it: Here's a movie that I really liked, but admitted in my blog entry, the other night, "I can't guarantee you'll want to see it over and over again (it's not that kind of movie), but I recommend you see the film at least once." That was all I needed. I headed back into my building, grabbed my iPod and listened to The Killers for the rest of my break, satisfied with my decision.

Ah, logic. Gotta love it.

I mean, really, at the end of the day, they're just...things. In the end, I can't take 'em with me. So, I've come to the following realization: If it bothers me so much to look at them, maybe I should just sell a good 400 of them or, at least, the ones I don't want anymore. I'm thinking that's going to be my endgame: sell what I want, save the money and use the small fortune I make to help take me to greener pastures (i.e. Minneapolis, the Phoenix/Scottsdale area in AZ or Philly). If there's one thing I'm beginning to learn, it's this: if you want to be happy, then be happy.

In other words, if getting rid of the things that have caused as much grief as happiness--in this case, DVDs, not unlike the weed--is going to improve my quality of life, then so fuckin' be it, man!! Who cares if it goes against what everyone thinks of me?! So what if it cancels out all of the wasted time and effort I put forth in building that monster movie collection?! This is my LIFE!!

I mean, for as long as I can remember, I've been The Guy Who Knows All About the Movies or That Guy Who Has All the DVDs. Hell, for years, I would feel like I had to justify myself when people would get irritated with me for making everything about movies. I'd say something like, "Hey, that's just me!! I'm the Movie Guy!!" I'd wear the moniker with pride. And while that's still part of who I am, I have to believe that I've grown up and have become more than just The Movie Guy.

As time has worn on--especially these last few months--I've come to realize that no one should ever be boiled down to a simple nickname.

Really, we are worth so much more than that!