Collared

I'm kind of surprised that I never wrote about this, but I never ended up going to Israel.

I gave a lot of reasons, some true, some false.

But my biggest reason, one that I've never really shared with a lot of people, is this: My kitty, Lillie, was sick. And sick cats cost money.

Yes, I know, the trip was free. But incidentals and gifts and souvenirs and all kinds of other things can really add up in costs! At the time, my mom was telling me that I should bring $600 with me! And there was a time when that amount wouldn't have been a problem (read: when I didn't have, ya know, rent and bills to pay and I still lived at the parental units' humble abode), but that time was not then.

So, getting back to Lillie. She was sneezing a lot, coughing, her breathing was a little mucusy. And being the selfish person that I am, I almost considered getting rid of her. After all, I had a trip to go on!! I couldn't afford a sick cat on top of it!!

And then, one night, I looked her in the eye. She was so tiny. She looked so sad and pathetic. She gave me this look like, why aren't you taking care of me? It was then that I knew that she no longer belonged to me. It was the other way around. As gross and sappy and positively weird (yes, I've officially become one of those obnoxious pet lovers that I hate) as this sounds, as much as she's my little girl, I'm her daddy.

I withdrew from the trip a day or so later and took her to the vet.

I am so overprotective of her. To a fault, almost. I finally just started turning the lights off in my apartment when I leave. Yes, I've always known that cats are nocturnal and can see just fine in the dark, but still...it's the dark!! It's so lonely!! Another example of my Protective Papa Syndrome is that even if the toilet seat is down, I make sure the bathroom door is closed, just as one extra precaution so that she doesn't drink the bleach water from the toilet bowl.

Yeah, it gets pretty bad. My friends think I'm completely nuts. Sadly enough, they may not be (completely) wrong.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is because, well, my little girl is growing up.

* sigh *

When I first got her, she was so tiny (five months old, my ASS!! lol!! Love you, Court) that I actually had to get her a bunny collar to fit around her neck. Nearly a year later, this last Saturday, I finally had to go the store and pick up a cat collar because she's gotten so big!! I came home and Erik and I cut off her little bunny collar. It's going to go somewhere safe like my little jewelery box [BLOGGER'S NOTE: Alright, alright! Knock it off with the gay jokes. I don't actually keep jewelery in the jewelery box. Just mementos and keepsakes, mostly!! So, like, fuck off!!]

Not only that but, also as of Saturday, I switched her from Purina One's "Healthy Kitten Formula" to the "Adult Cat Healthy Weight Formula."

As the great Bob Dylan once said, the times they are a-changin'.

I can't believe what a prick I was with her, those first few months. I can't believe I was going to give her up. It breaks my heart. The idea that I was so close to getting rid of one of the brightest lights of my life breaks my heart.

It's so funny how, when I first got her, I hated her jumping on everything and just getting into my shit. Now, I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. The idea of coming home to an empty apartment without her greeting me at the door and trying to crawl up my leg or sitting up on the chair and giving me one of her giant Lillie yawns, after several hours of sleep...it puts shivers down my spine. In a year full of chaos (a lot of it caused by Miss Lillie herself), she's been my one true thing, the most stable thing in my life.

What a difference a year makes.