Happy Endings--Part 2

As I've mentioned in a few past blog entries, this blog is my own version of therapy.

I remember going to my former shrink, a few years back. I would talk and talk and talk (and talk!!) and I never really felt like I was getting much help from his end. He would just sit there with a blank expression like Droopy Dog, only once in a while offering a comment along the lines of "I'm a little confused about..." or "How did that make you feel?"

And yet, I would always feel better just talking. I didn't really need any feedback. Having said that, I could talk to a wall and get the same results--and it would cost me absolutely nothing!

The same goes for this blog. As I've said in the past, it's nice to know that people read my entries and leave me feedback (well, except for those "American Idol" comments!! I mean, Jesus!! Don't you have anything better to do?!), but at the end of the day, this blog is for me to get things out of my system and make coherent, rational thoughts out of them.

As for last night's entry, well, that was an entry for me. I'm glad that y'all--whoever you are--read it, enjoyed it, whatever...but that one was for me. It was me saying, ya know what? I think I'm doing okay. It was sort of like my own self-distributed progress report. If you pay attention to the comments I receive, you'll notice I got one telling me to stop obsessing. Well, it's really not me obsessing. It's me working through my own issues the best way I know how: writing.

This entry, dear readers, is for you...

Every Saturday night, I go to the same Greek restaurant. I have been doing this for nearly four years. I have friends who work there, you see. So, I come in, we chat, I leave. The end.

This last Saturday, however, was different. I had mentioned to Chef X on Thursday that I was going to make the stuffed shells again and she suggested I make something else with pasta. After all, there are a zillion things you can do with pasta. I said, I should make pasta with olive oil and garlic. She gave me a quick tip to infuse the oil with the garlic...or whatever.

So, later on, I got three general guidelines from my mom and on Saturday, I had an amazing experience.

I got off of work at 5pm and stopped at Whole Foods, where I picked up a fresh herb salad, Caesar dressing and olive oil. After that, I stopped at the Kroger's next to my place and picked up some penne pasta, Roma tomatoes and a loaf of freshly baked bread.

I met my friend Crystal at the apartment and it was off I went. I boiled the water and THEN threw the pasta in. It came out perfectly. Yes, it was al dente (hey, I learn from my mistakes,alright?!) Oh, while waiting for the water to boil (remember, I have a crappy-ass electric stove so everything takes forever), I rinsed and sliced up those Roma tomatoes I mentioned earlier.

After I drained the pasta, I let it sit for a while. From there, I thawed out two chicken breasts and cut those up. I put a little olive oil in a pan and browned the chicken, sprinkling some basil leaf on top.

Then came the moment of truth. The pasta sauce. I placed a nice-sized sauce pan onto the burner and poured in the following:

1/4 c. of olive oil
1/4 T of butter
1.5 T of fresh minced garlic

I let it simmer up on medium-high heat until it started to sizzle and then I threw the pasta in. I tossed the pasta and the olive oil for about 5 minutes or so, before throwing the fresh tomatoes and the chicken in. I poured in about a 1/2 cup of grated parmesan cheese and sprinkled a little more basil on the pasta and it was done!!

I'll admit, the last few things I've made have been awesome in terms of taste and flavor but kind of lacking in the aesthetics department. Not this time. The pasta dish that I made on Saturday was so beautiful, so pleasing to the naked eye, I couldn't help but take a few photos of it with my camera phone (...and when I figure how to transfer the photos from my phone to laptop, I'll upload them onto this entry).

After the main dish was done, I tore off a piece of aluminum foil and spread some olive oil and minced garlic on it. Upon it I placed five or six slices of bread so they could sit in the garlic/olive oil mixture while it was in the toaster oven. In the meantime, while the bread was toasting, I got the Caesar salads going.

Finally, at long last, we ate the spectacular meal. It was, in a word, heavenly.

I might have been good with that, too, but at around 11pm, Kevin came over. I got his dinner ready--salad and all--and he sat down to eat it. He took a few bites, looked up and went, "Hal...um, yeah...this is amazing!! This is the kind of stuff you have to pay tons of money for in a nice restaurant. We both know I could be a dick about this if I wanted to be so obviously, I'm not blowing smoke up your ass. This is so good!!"

Now, granted, Kevin is not the end-all and be-all of compliment-givers, but it felt so great to get one from him. Yeah, it was just one compliment, but as hard as he can be on me sometimes, his one irony- and sarcasm-free compliment kind of validated everything I've been doing this last month. I could feel myself get all warm and emotional inside.

I've always been that friend who wants to make all of my other friends happy--not necessarily with me...but just, you know, happy. It's just who I am. I'm a people pleaser.

I mean, here was Kevin who worked this horrific shift at the Med Center until late at night. He was tired and hungry and I was there for him. He got to my place and filled his stomach with something that I made. Not from a recipe, but just from the top of my head. Aside from those three guidelines, this was something that I concocted on my own.

Saturday night finally made me realize what Kevin was talking about the week before. I now know what kind of power I have--the power to make the people I love happy. I'm realizing that this really has been inside of me all along. It may not have been a desire to cook at first, but I've always had that intrinsic desire to please. Finally, I have a way for that desire to manifest itself.

Really, there is so much inside of us that we never knew existed. It's all there! It may not be one specific skill (cooking, sewing, musical instruments, etc), per se, but there are those emotions and feelings and desires inside of us that amazing skills are born from.

When one can finally come to such a conclusion on their own terms, in my book, that is a happy ending!!