Mom # 2

I never thought you would be gone so soon.

I remember talking to you, nearly a year ago. It is with great regret and embarrassment when I remind you that, at the time, I was speaking ill of your son, one of my best friends in the world. I was so angry with him for one reason or another. And I just vented to you...About your own son!! And as hard as it was for you to probably hear, you were so understanding and kind and lovely. You just...listened.

And then you told your son that I was upset with him. Your son called me up to confront me about my grievances like the man I should have been in that moment and I remember, at the time, being so angry that you had done that. I had this wrongheaded idea in my head that you had violated my confidence, my trust. And looking back now--now that you're gone--it just...I realize just how stupid, how silly it was of me to be angry with you. I wish I hadn't been so naive that I couldn't understand that what you were doing what any great mom should do: Teach their children to handle things themselves.

Because you're not gonna be here forever.

That was the last time we ever spoke, you and I. You died very suddenly on April 11, 2008, of a heart attack. And I wish I could have said "goodbye." I wish I had been able to talk to you one more time on the phone like we used to do. Remember those chats? We'd talk for an hour--sometimes two hours--at a time. We would laugh and confide in one another. And you would be such an amazing cheerleader to me. You would get so excited whenever something good happened to me. And if I got hurt by someone or if I was having a bad time, I'd call you knowing that you would do your damnedest to build me up and, even if it was just a brief moment, make me smile. You'd let me talk your ear off.

I remember how, when I turned 26, last year, you managed to perform a small miracle and persuade your husband--the infamously cranky yet lovable and wise fellow that he is--to call me up and sing Happy Birthday with you. I couldn't help but be touched. I couldn't help but grin, ear to ear, and cry at the same time. You did that. That was all you. And I can't help but feel that residual warmth rush over me, just thinking about that moment now, as I write this.

You may not have been my real mom, but you meant so much to me. You made me feel like I was a part of your family. And I will be forever grateful for what you brought to my life...and what you've left behind.

Your kindness and grace and light will be missed by all who knew you.