Retrospective and Hindsight

It was brought to my attention that the words in my last blog post, which I have since removed out of respect to a certain grieving family's wishes, were cruel and deeply hurtful.

I would like to take this time to apologize for any pain and suffering I caused that family. It was certainly not my intention to do so. Despite what they--and their friend who contacted me--might believe, that is not what this blog is--or ever will be--about.

In the blog, I had mentioned the fact that a girl from my high school, who recently passed away due to cancer had not been very nice to me. The words I used, I recall, may have been overly harsh.

However, I also took the time to address the fact that I was unaware that she had been so sick during high school and, knowing from personal experience--myself having been paralyzed from the head down when I was seven and, eventually, overcoming such unbeatable odds--that illness can sometimes bring out the worst in people. My point was--and maybe I just wasn't as clear and/or as sensitive as I should have been when dealing with such raw and emotional topics--that I wish I had known that she was sick, because maybe I might have cut her some slack. I might have been more understanding and I probably would have tried to befriend her, because I know what it's like to be looked at differently, to be made fun of, to want to be and feel "normal."

But again, that's not how it came out from my end.

I received an anonymous post from the girl's mother who said she wasn't sure how she came across my blog. Well, I imagine that she Googled her daughter's name. I tried it myself and found the blog in question. But I also found tons of other stuff, wonderful stuff about their daughter and it leads me to question what I know about this girl who, from everything I've read about her over the course of the last couple of weeks, was just a lovely and absolutely beautiful soul. Obviously, from the turnout of 500 people at her memorial service, she was beloved by more people than I'll probably ever know.

I wish I had met that person in high school. That, I truly regret, because she sounded like a really, really cool young woman. In this case, I'll chalk it up to being my loss.

And as I mentioned before, perhaps the things I wrote were indeed harsh, but the truth of the matter is, there's always going to be one great, big asshole out there (in this case, myself) who will have something to bitch about a person, even if there are a million other people who have thousands of amazing things to say about the same person. To which I ask, in general, can't there be room for both positive and negative opinions? Surely, mine can't be any less valid. Just because I have something negative to say while 500 other people have positive things to say, it doesn't mean that anyone is more right or wrong than the other. After all, it's a matter of perspective.

Regardless, I took down the blog.

And I did so because I want the family of this girl to know that I am not a bad person and that I know when to raise a white flag and admit when I've done a bad thing, intentional or not. And, yeah, while it was my opinion, it was inappropriate of me to have used such a beloved individual's name--at the very least, so closely to the time of grieving for her family and loved ones. While I'm not usually one to ask for forgiveness, I hope that me taking down the post takes away a little of the pain that I caused for those who loved Megan.

I wish I had known her better.

G-d bless.