Past Dated

So, I was bummed out and depressed, this last Friday, because it marked the one-year anniversary of Liz, The Girl, breaking up with me in that "pansy-ass" (her words, not mine) e-mail she sent me on Feb. 22 of 2007.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I am over it, totally and completely.

But still, I was just really having a hard time wrapping my brain around that fact and I just felt like total shit.

And then someone gave me something really profound to chew on.

See, I was bitching and moaning to my friend Kevin about it. I was saying stuff to the tune of, "Oh, this day is so hard for me and I really don't think I should be alone and blah, blah, blah."

To which he replied, "Jesus, Hal! Get the fuck over it! You're actually doing really great, right now!! You're so handsome and perfect in every way (actually, that last sentence he never said, but I'm pretty sure he was totally thinking it--like, tip-of-the-tongue thinking it)!! Are you bummed out because you're genuinely upset that it's been a year since she broke up with you or are you sad and upset because you feel like you should be upset about it?"

And ya know? He was so fucking correct in this assessment. I am doing great. I've been doing just fine. I have a great family and wonderful, amazing friends and a lovely pussy (sorry...I never can resist. Don't even try to stop me.) The truth is, it was just another day. I looked at the calendar and thought to myself, "wow...it's been a year. I guess I should mourn or sit Shiva (the Jewish process of mourning the dead for all you gentiles reading this) or something."

A perfect example of this is being single on Valentine's Day. It's a regular day, but you look at the calendar and think to yourself, "Shit. It's V-day and I'm single!" I mean, let's face it: You were single the day before Valentine's Day and you were just fine and, unless you have a Meet Cute with the Boy and/or Girl of Your Dreams on the actual day of St. Valentine's, you're probably going to be single mañana, too. So, why such a hoopla over one day?

I mean, really--why do we do this to ourselves??? Why do we constantly have to pick days and put them aside to make ourselves miserable? I mean, life is so fucking short and it's tough enough as it is making it from one day to the next without giving ourselves one more thing to be borderline suicidal about.

I'm learning that the best way to live is taking things day by day and try not to think about the past or the future.

It's not easy.

Much easier is letting the past trip you up, rip you apart and dictate where your future is headed. But the thing I'm continuing to learn is that the past--a good jumping-off point and a fabulous learning tool though it may be--is simply a state of mind and it should never, ever be a state of being.

In other words, ya gotta either take it or leave it.

I recommend the latter.