Happy to Be Negative

Yeah, it's been a busy couple of weeks, so my apologies for not writing as frequently.

I guess I've just been fairly pre-occupied with Hal issues. Remember the storm I was talking about? Well, it came. Or, at least, one of them. More on that, er, her later...

So, by popular demand (you know who you are... ;oP), I will address the following issue from a few weeks back: I got the STD results back from the doctor's office and they said, well, there's only one way to say this, folks. They said (for all of you "West Side Story" fans, out there)...

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WORD I'VE EVER HEARRRRRRRRD: NEG-A-TIVE!!!!!!!!!! NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!!! NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!!! NEGATIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, that's right!! I am free to have as much sex as I want now, without the sweat-inducing fear of injecting diseased DNA into my partner. Woo-hoo!!

NOT!!!

Actually, I can pretty much guarantee that I won't be having sex again for awhile. After all, as I mentioned in "Ewwww La La," the future Mrs. Hal is out there, somewhere, and sex is never, ever going to be the method to my mad search.

BUZZZZZZZ!! WRONG AGAIN!!

Okay. Perhaps I'm being a bit too hasty in saying "never, ever." Listen, I know I've taken the "No Sex" vow--very Josh Hartnett of me, no?--but maybe, I dunno...maybe sex isn't so bad. I mean, yeah, I don't need sex, but who really does, right? I mean, besides nymphos. And nuns.

And yeah, I know it's pretty lame that I'm backing out of my own self-imposed rule, but what can I say? I'm human and I have needs and desires just like everyone else. At the same time, though, I plan on using a little more discretion in terms of who I choose to do the deed with (as opposed to bumping uglies with the first broad that's ready and willing--which, admittedly, isn't very often at all. And yes, I realize I just used the word "broad." Because apparently, I've time-traveled back to the '30s). It's like the old saying goes, just because ya can...doesn't mean ya should. Or something.

Then again, on the flipside, that doesn't mean ya shouldn't. Sometimes, doing the wrong thing can absolutely, positively be right!

But for fuck sake!! Be careful when you're doing it!!